Have the Conversations about Child Sex Abuse
The conversations don't have to be uncomfortable or hard.
It doesn't have to be hard or awkward to have conversations with our children when it comes to sex, healthy boundaries and personal safety around their bodies.
As a survivor of child sex abuse (CSA), I was taught about sex from my abuser. This was wrong in every way, and taught me to have a very distorted view of love, sex, personal safety/lack of boundaries, and relationships. I carried an immense amount of shame, confusion and guilt for many years, not understanding what was wrong with me. I have often wondered what my life would be like if......
Staggering Statistics
-Over 90% of child sex abuse occurs by a family member or by someone the family knows.
-1 in 10 children will be sexually abused by the time they are 19 years old.
-Over 60% of child sex abuse is never reported.
But that isn't the reality for me and for the estimated 42 million CSA survivors in the United States today. So when I became a mom, I made a decision to talk with my children openly about their bodies, how to have boundaries, and their own personal safety. This part of parenting became very important in making sure that my children understood the different types of abuse and that they could always come to me with questions or concerns.
Here are some helpful tips that can make the conversation easier and your relationships stronger.
1) Use the appropriate body language with your children. Penis and vagina are not bad words.
2) Be a good listener. If your child discloses child sex abuse, stay calm! Report to your local authorities as soon as possible.
3) Start early. Teach your children about healthy body boundaries, personal safety, and who their safe adults are.
Having these conversations will deepen your relationship with your child and leaves them less vulnerable to abuse. It is the adults responsibility to keep children safe. Speak up if you suspect a child is being sexually abuse. Every time we turn the other way, another predator goes free, leaving the child in store for a lifetime of suffering.
